Freedom. Truth. Marriage.

My thoughts on these things. Feel free to leave feedback.

“Forgive and forget.”

We know we’re supposed to forgive someone that hurt us. That’s not easy to do. Some of the difficulty is because the one who’s been hurt thinks that to forgive means “forgive and forget.” They don’t think they can, or don’t want to, “forgive and forget.”

Who can forget being severely harmed? I was  abused growing up. I remember pretty much all of it. I even wrote about one of the spiritual lies I was beat down with here. But a few years ago I chose to forgive. While I remember, I don’t hold it against the abuser.

In Hebrews 8:12 it says God does not “remember” our wickedness. God is all knowing. Yet since He forgave us, He treats us as if the sin never happened.

This is what forgiveness is. It’s letting them off our hook, and treating them accordingly. This does not mean we allow ourselves to be subject to continued abuse and hurt. This does not mean we become their doormat or beating post. They are off our hook, and on God’s hook. We just choose not to hold on to the bitterness, anger, and resentment their hurt caused us. We’re mandated to forgive (Eph. 4:32), since God also forgave us. This includes forgiving ourselves sometimes.

Truth takeaway: Forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting.

What’s a hurt or wrong you’ve held on to because you thought that to forgive someone you had to forget about it as well?




(Image courtesy of here)



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2 thoughts on ““Forgive and forget.”

  1. Alan – the email w/this post was in my inbox this morning. I have some things I am and have always been dealing with. I saw your title and thought, oh, no, not again. I was just sure you were going to say I had to blah blah blah blah blah. I took a second and read what the blurb in the email said. WOW! What a relief. What a load lifted. I too have been the victim of certain abuses and lies either created or passed along are one of those abuses. Your email/post was quite timely. This makes how many times that what you’ve written just blows me away? Awesome. Keep up the ministry. Thank you!!!

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